Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.
In the last 7 days the famous Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and the Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song. Today shares in Kamikaze Bank was suspended after they nose-dived and 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop.
Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that customers may get a raw deal.
Note: This is a joke. Just in case you hadn't realised yet.
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
14 April 2008
EXCLUSIVE: Banking Crisis Spreads To Japan!
12 April 2008
Look, No Hands!
Playing the piano with your penis. Quite how do you discover this sort of obscure talent?
07 April 2008
04 April 2008
02 April 2008
01 April 2008
I've Found Religion!
Our Google which art in cyberspace,
Hallowed be thy domain.
Thy search to come,
Thy results be done,
On my computer as it is in the WWW.
Give us this search our daily results.
Forgive us our spam, as those that have
spammed up against us.
And lead us not into infected sites,
But deliver us from Trojans.
For thine search engine is the greatest,
and the power,
and the glory,
For search after search.
Amen
The Church of Google
Hallowed be thy domain.
Thy search to come,
Thy results be done,
On my computer as it is in the WWW.
Give us this search our daily results.
Forgive us our spam, as those that have
spammed up against us.
And lead us not into infected sites,
But deliver us from Trojans.
For thine search engine is the greatest,
and the power,
and the glory,
For search after search.
Amen
29 March 2008
The Truth And The Internet
Art by Sean Bonner, released under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.0 license.
23 March 2008
21 March 2008
20 March 2008
The Downing Street Poet
Which member of Gordo's Cabinet is a poet?
Whilst many of us may agree with sentiment of wishing Brown away, going back to Blair really wouldn't be much of an improvement.
18 March 2008
14 March 2008
23 February 2008
Flaming Sambuca!
This is why you blow the flame out before you drink it!
And that's just gotta hurt...
Image is large and may take a little while to load. But it is more than worth it!
This is why you blow the flame out before you drink it!
And that's just gotta hurt...
Image is large and may take a little while to load. But it is more than worth it!
14 February 2008
06 February 2008
Big Brother FAILs
Polls show growing opposition to ID cards:
25% of the public are deeply opposed to the idea... [but] British public opinion is deeply split over the introduction of identity cards, with 50% against the idea and 47% in favour. [However, a] majority - 52% - say they feel uncomfortable with allowing "personal information that is provided to one government department to be shared between all government departments that provide public services". (The Guardian)
Image hat-tip: The FAIL Blog
04 February 2008
01 February 2008
31 January 2008
Writing To A Minister
Via Mike Rouse, who nicked it from an internet forum:
Dear Minister,
I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Dick Smith of T.V. Rentals Glasgow has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a TV cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?
How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on and on what channel and whether I have paid my licence or not and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good time.
For fucks sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
You have my birth date on my social security record, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 30 years. It’s on my health insurance card, my driver’s licence, on the last eight bloody passports I’ve had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Mary, my father’s name is Robert, and I’d be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHIT!
I apologize, Mr. Minister. I’m really pissed off this morning. Between you an’ me, I’ve had enough of this bullshit! You mail the application to my house, then you ask me for my friggin’ address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin’ there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on a sandy beach.
Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to back to Glasgow and get another friggin’ copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of 60 quid! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that’d be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You’d rather have us running all over the friggin’ place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some Arsehole to confirm that it’s really me on the goddamn picture — you know, the one where we’re not allowed to smile in?! Friggin’ morons!
Hey, you know why we can’t smile? ‘Cause we’re totally pissed off!
Signed - An Irate Fucking’ British Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it’s me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1730 and obviously did not do a good enough job during the ‘45′ uprisings.
I have served in the armed forces for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang. I was an aide to the Minister of Defence in London for ten years, and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross for about five years. However, I have to get someone “important” to verify who I am — you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FUCKING PAKISTAN
I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Dick Smith of T.V. Rentals Glasgow has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a TV cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?
How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on and on what channel and whether I have paid my licence or not and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good time.
For fucks sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
You have my birth date on my social security record, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 30 years. It’s on my health insurance card, my driver’s licence, on the last eight bloody passports I’ve had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Mary, my father’s name is Robert, and I’d be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHIT!
I apologize, Mr. Minister. I’m really pissed off this morning. Between you an’ me, I’ve had enough of this bullshit! You mail the application to my house, then you ask me for my friggin’ address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin’ there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on a sandy beach.
Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to back to Glasgow and get another friggin’ copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of 60 quid! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that’d be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You’d rather have us running all over the friggin’ place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some Arsehole to confirm that it’s really me on the goddamn picture — you know, the one where we’re not allowed to smile in?! Friggin’ morons!
Hey, you know why we can’t smile? ‘Cause we’re totally pissed off!
Signed - An Irate Fucking’ British Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it’s me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1730 and obviously did not do a good enough job during the ‘45′ uprisings.
I have served in the armed forces for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang. I was an aide to the Minister of Defence in London for ten years, and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross for about five years. However, I have to get someone “important” to verify who I am — you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FUCKING PAKISTAN
30 January 2008
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