The ThunderDragon: Random News

Showing posts with label Random News. Show all posts

10 April 2008

Labour still want 50% of school-leavers to go to university.

Labour will keep its target of sending half of all school-leavers to university despite figures showing that participation in higher education is falling, ministers have insisted. (The Telegraph)

Because not to keep this ridiculous target would be tantamount to common sense, and they couldn't have that!

03 April 2008

Possible impossibilities?

Teleportation and forcefields could become scientific realities within decades, and time travel will also be possible in the future, according to one of the world's leading physicists.
Professor Michio Kaku of City University in New York has studied a range of scientific "impossibilities" and concluded that most will almost certainly be achieved as our knowledge expands...
Teleportation, telepathy, forcefields and invisibility are Class 1 impossibilities, meaning they are likely to be realisable within a few decades or at most a century. (The Telegraph)

Beam me up Scotty!

Political Titles

What's in a politicians name? More than one might think, on occasion:

Pro-Life: "Marvin Richardson, a strawberry farmer from Idaho, has changed his name to Pro-Life and is running for governor. He tried this stunt in 2006, but Pro-Life was then just a middle name, and officials left it off the ballot on the grounds of it being a slogan; now it's his only name, and they can't stop him campaigning for murder charges to be levelled against women who have abortions and the doctors who perform them."

Mr Haddock: "In 2002, Austin Mitchell, Labour MP for Great Grimsby, temporarily changed his name to Austin Haddock in order to persuade more people to eat the fish that provide a livelihood for so many of his constituents."

Harry Potter: "[I]n 2003 a 32-year-old who had made several unsuccessful attempts to become governor of Sverdlovsk, Russia, changed his name to Harry Ivanovich Potter before he had another go."

But politicians aren't the only ones who change their name, and not always just to make a political point, but also to raise money for a good cause:

[F]or St Patrick's day, a couple of weeks ago, more than 1,100 Paddys congregated in London's Trafalgar Square. Many had been sponsored to change their names by deed poll for the day, and all proceeds went to Great Ormond Street hospital.

Names are important, but many of these are just taking it way too far.

27 March 2008

Gordon Brown did what he was told.

He got lost.

Now, if only he'd do what we tell him to do and fuck off.

26 March 2008

Is wearing and having pride in the Union Flag "a sin"? No. Though radical cleric Omar Bakri Mohammad thinks it is a bad thing for Muslims to do, saying:

Amir Khan is not a good example for Muslims. He wears shorts with the Union Jack. That is a sin...
He should not be wearing the flag because sovereignty is for God. His only allegiance should be to the Prophet Mohammed.
The ideal situation would be to have a Muslim team not registered to any state so he can represent the Islamic community.

Oh, come on. Having Union Flag boxing shorts is not sinful in any way. It is, however, tacky.

And British Muslims are British people who just happen to be Muslim. They're still British, no matter what.

13 March 2008

Plastic fraud at a record high:

Fraud on credit and debit cards rose by a quarter last year to reach a record high despite the introduction of the "chip and pin" security system.
The cost of fraud on cards issued in Britain totalled £535.2 million during 2007, with losses rising for the first time since 2004, according to the payments body Apacs...
[There was] a six per cent increase in card fraud losses in Britain, which was largely driven by fraudsters using stolen details to make purchases over the telephone or internet, or by mail order. (The Telegraph)

Proof that any security system created by man can be broken by man.

11 March 2008

Recycle or go to Hell, the Vatican says.

Do not pass Go, do not collect £200; straight to Hell.

Well, if my choice is between being forced to recycle and going to Hell, well, I guess my choice is made for me.

See you in Hell*.

*Well, all except for His Grace. Obviously.

10 March 2008

Bars in the US state Minnesota have found a brilliant way to circumvent a new smoking ban:

The law grants an exception from the ban to performers in theatrical productions. So the bars have become theatres, and their customers, actors.
Now some bars print bills listing the "cast" of bartenders, and ashtrays become "props". Drinkers don costumes and attempt strange accents.
"They're playing themselves before 1 October - you know, before there was a smoking ban... We call the production, Before the Ban!" (BBC)

Absolutely magnificent. Unfortunately, not something that we can emulate over here, sicne our legislature went completely totalitarian on us and banned even performers in theatrical productions from smoking in an "enclosed space".

05 March 2008

"Why is it acceptable to drink in public?"

Why isn't it?

Is it illegal? No. Is it rude or disgusting? No.

This sentiment is little more than snobbery.

03 March 2008

Henry Hoover Sucks Cock

Well, Henry the Hoover has been used in such a way.

A HOSPITAL builder has been sacked after being caught having sex with a Henry the hoover.
The Polish contractor – who was supposed to be locking up the site – was found naked and on his knees with the smiling cleaner in the staff canteen.
A horrified security guard at Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital told him to “clean himself and the hoover” before kicking him out.
The shameless builder later told bosses he was vacuuming his underwear – “a common practice in Poland”. (The Sun)

And he just had to pick the hoover with a face! Maybe that made it a bit more of a personalised experience and less like having sex with a piece of machinery?

He does get extra points for the attempt at evading ridicule though for the excuse that he was vacuuming his underwear, though, especially as a culturally significant act. Even if it is just absurd, and the fact that he was at work at the time, and so shouldn't have been vacuuming his underwear anyway.

"I now retire from being a god"

A young girl worshipped in Nepal as a living goddess has retired early from this ritual status.
Eleven-year-old Sajani Shakya is one of the three most revered living goddesses or Kumaris...
To become a living goddess she has to pass ritual tests and have 32 beautiful physical attributes.
She will then live in a special house and be worshipped by both Buddhists and Hindus, including the king of Nepal, until the onset of her menstruation. That is deemed to make her human, so she retires. (BBC)

I just find the idea of "retiring" from being a goddess amusing.

29 February 2008

The Liberal Democrats are said to be "hopeful" of achieving a vote in the House of Commons on their absurd idea of holding a referendum on Britain's membership of the EU - rather than on the Lisbon Treaty.

Yeah, right. In the same way that I'm hopeful that tomorrow I'll win millions on the lottery without buying a ticket.

They walked out of Chamber just a couple of days over the Speaker's refusal to grant them a referendum. Unfortunately they haven't stayed out since. But they're never going to get anywhere near having a referendum on EU membership.

27 February 2008

Public pensions to cost us £1 trillion?!

Public sector pensions are set to cost taxpayers £1,025 billion - or £40,000 for every household over the next 20 years - according to figures released today...
There are 5.8 million public sector workers in Britain and their pensions are costing taxpayers £18 billion a year. (The Telegraph)

Now that is one hell of a lot of money. And money that we have to pay. There is no denying that it is disgustingly high.

26 February 2008

Question: Do we need a modern, high-tech Domesday Book?

Answer: Like a hole in the head.

25 February 2008

Viagra: Sex but no consequences.

The anti-impotence drug Viagra could harm men's fertility, scientists have warned.
New research suggests that the drug can damage sperm and so prevent some men from starting a family.
The findings mean that young men who take the drug recreationally could be damaging their chances of starting a family... (The Telegraph)

This doesn't have to be a bad thing, but it depends on the reasons behind taking Viagra in the first place! Though why young men would need to be taking Viagra recreationally, I don't know...

21 February 2008

This is a, shall we say, "interesting" and "different" restaurant dish:

Especially since it's free, too.

19 February 2008

Is anyone worth £90,000 per month? Maybe, maybe not. But no-one is worth £90,000 per month of taxpayer's money. Not matter how good they may be.

Even so, that ridiculous sum is the amount to be paid to the new executive chairman of the nationalised Northern Rock.

There is more than enough bitching about the payment of £60,000 per year to MPs, but remarkably little about one-and-a-half times this being paid to Ron Sandler every month.

It's just wrong. Especially when it's my taxes that are paying it.

18 February 2008

No more sick-notes. Just "well-notes". Apparently.

GPs will be required to tell the employers of sick patients what tasks they can perform in a new “well note” designed to reduce the number of people on incapacity benefit...
Alan Johnson, the Health Secretary, will this week prepare the ground for controversial change, saying that family doctors need to “change our sick-note culture into a well-note culture”. (The Times)

Are GPs now to be expected to know the ins-and-outs of a person's job before they give them a note, now? Are they to be expected to include every little thing that a person can do before they issue the note? Or is it just an ineffective and pointless gimmick? Answers on a postcard.

14 February 2008

Addicted to gambling? Sue the betting shop!

A gambling addict is suing a betting chain for £2 million after claiming they "ruined his life" by allowing him to continue betting.
Graham Calvert, 28, asked William Hill to close his account and ban him because he was addicted and gambling over the telephone was "too easy".
But he claims that despite being told he would not be eligible for another account for six months under the company’s self-exclusion policy, he was allowed to open a new account two months later.
In the following five months, he went on to lose £2 million. (The Telegraph)

Oh, grow up. It is only you who is to blame for your gambling addiction. It is you who bet your money, it is you who have no self control. It is not up to a betting shop to tell you that you can't place a bet because you're addicted, just like it isn't the job of a pub to tell you that you're drinking too much. Especially on the absurd principle that it is "too easy". If it wasn't that easy, people would be complaining that it isn't easy enough!

If you can blame a betting shop for you gambling addiction, next you will be able to blame the cliff you jumped off of for being there.

13 February 2008

Yet another all-*insert minority of choice* shortlist.

ALL-BLACK shortlists designed to increase the number of ethnic minority MPs at Westminster are being considered by ministers.
A report commissioned by Harriet Harman, the equalities minister, recommends a change to the race discrimination laws. It proposes introducing the shortlists for four consecutive general elections to redress the underrepresentation of ethnic minorities at Westminster...
At present only 15 of the 646 MPs are from ethnic minorities, and only two of those 15 are women. (The Times)

Hasn't it been realised that this sort of thing is discrimination yet? They may try to make it sound ok by tacking "positive" on to the front of it, but discrimination is discrimination, no matter who it is pro or anti. Any MP who gets selected and elected through a process like this will always have an inferiority complex, because they didn't fight a fair fight to get there - they got there instead because they were a member of *insert minority group of choice*.

Equality means fighting on a level playing field, regardless of any minority or majority group status. The best person should be selected for the job, regardless of any special 'minority status'.

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