The ThunderDragon: Sex

Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts

05 April 2008

Spank-gate

As TD has admitted that F1 is the only sport he really watches, I thought I'd save this for the weekly guest post instead of putting it 'Bites.

That, and the visual images created by the News of the World's classic reporting techniques when the story broke on Sunday morning meant I was too busy being violently ill to write about it myself. If you're having breakfast, put the porridge down.

[Max Mosley, t]he son of infamous British wartime fascist leader Oswald Mosley is filmed romping with five hookers at a depraved NAZI-STYLE orgy in a torture dungeon.
Then, head bowed and tied up in chains, he is interrogated by a dominatrix before being chained up and LASHED so hard over a TORTURE BENCH that he WHIMPERS for mercy and has to have a wound dressing put on his backside. (News of the World)

I have commented on a couple of posts on the topic over the past week, but now the initial furore has passed, things a bit clearer to pass an objective eye over the entire fiasco - that will inevitably be suffixed "-gate", so I'll settle on "Spank-gate" until someone directs me to another title.

Mosley's reactions has been very telling. As far I can tell, he's not expressly admitted anything. But, he's sueing the NOTW for "Breach of Privacy". There's no allegation of libel. Therefore, I think it's safe in assuming that he did it.

I think that the debate in the past week can safely be divided into three camps.

First of all, there's the "Innocent until proven guilty" camp. Fair enough, but I think it's a bit naive given the evidence that exists. There is a video that was on the NOTW website, and I understand is still very much available around youtube etc. I don't want to need to prick my eyes with a pin after seeing it, so can't directly comment - but I understand it's pretty damning.

Then there's the "Max must go" camp. It's a pretty large camp, with some pretty important people including Jackie Stewart, BMW & Mercedes, and a few publications. Thing is, it's impossible not to draw a link between these publications and previous problems with Mosley. Tom Rubython has had a very torrid history with the FIA, and has written a very damning (if lengthy) comment on Mosley.

Given that there does appear to have been a "sting operation" to catch Mosley - why was Max the target? Well, the NOTW is owned by Rupert Murdoch's News International, along with the Sunday Times. The Sunday Times are presently being sued by the FIA after Martin Brundle decribed the governing body of acting in a "Witch Hunt". Could just be a co-incidence, and like Mohamed Al-Fayed I make no accusations, but the brain can't help draw its own conclusions.

There's no doubt that his actions have brought the sport unwanted publicity. He could well be considered to have brought the sport into disrepute. It's probably only a matter of time before Mad Max does indeed resign.

But, given what we know at the minute, I fall into the third camp. The "So What?" camp.
There's too much invasion into people's privacy at the moment. I doubt anyone doesn't have some skeletons in the cupboard - but rarely do they impede on professional roles.

The NOTW were quick to pick up on the German / Nazi connection in Mosley's "sex romp". However, I don't believe that if it had been anyone else caught in Mosley's position, such emphasis would have been paid to it. Not that I've ever frequented one of these, erm, "establishments" - but surely these dominatrix scenarios draw on historical references, and I doubt German prisoner role plays are that unusual?

As far as I can see, no crime was committed. So, why should his private life have such an impact?

Thing is now, it has had an impact. And people are talking about it more than the sport. Mosley's got to go. And whilst I'm not his biggest fan (he's had some wacky ideas for the sport), I think it will be a shame. There's no-one ideal to replace him, and a sudden transition of power is never good for any institution.

Asp

03 March 2008

Henry Hoover Sucks Cock

Well, Henry the Hoover has been used in such a way.

A HOSPITAL builder has been sacked after being caught having sex with a Henry the hoover.
The Polish contractor – who was supposed to be locking up the site – was found naked and on his knees with the smiling cleaner in the staff canteen.
A horrified security guard at Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital told him to “clean himself and the hoover” before kicking him out.
The shameless builder later told bosses he was vacuuming his underwear – “a common practice in Poland”. (The Sun)

And he just had to pick the hoover with a face! Maybe that made it a bit more of a personalised experience and less like having sex with a piece of machinery?

He does get extra points for the attempt at evading ridicule though for the excuse that he was vacuuming his underwear, though, especially as a culturally significant act. Even if it is just absurd, and the fact that he was at work at the time, and so shouldn't have been vacuuming his underwear anyway.

25 February 2008

Viagra: Sex but no consequences.

The anti-impotence drug Viagra could harm men's fertility, scientists have warned.
New research suggests that the drug can damage sperm and so prevent some men from starting a family.
The findings mean that young men who take the drug recreationally could be damaging their chances of starting a family... (The Telegraph)

This doesn't have to be a bad thing, but it depends on the reasons behind taking Viagra in the first place! Though why young men would need to be taking Viagra recreationally, I don't know...

21 February 2008

This is a, shall we say, "interesting" and "different" restaurant dish:

Especially since it's free, too.

08 January 2008

Political First Ladies

How come we don't get political partners who look like this? It's just not fair.

04 January 2008

Monkeys purchase sex?

Male macaque monkeys "pay" for sex with females by grooming them, scientists have revealed.
The availability of females even affects the "price". Where there are fewer females, males are forced to groom their partners for up to twice as long before they are able to have sex, the research found. (The Telegraph)

Those monkeys better make sure that they keep away from Harriet Harman then, or she'll have them all locked up!

UPDATE: Wilberforce Monk has admitted that it is he who has paid for sex. He better be very careful to keep out of Harman's way should he achieve his goal of entering Parliament!

02 January 2008

I suppose the best we can do is be grateful for small mercies, that this wasn't Prescott:

Malaysian Health Minister Chua Soi Lek has admitted that he is the man who features in two widely circulated DVDs of an unmarried couple having sex.
He said he had apologised to the prime minister and other ruling party leaders but would not resign...
Mr Chua said he had taken no part in the making of the DVD recordings, one of them said to be almost an hour long. (BBC)

Had it been Prescott, it would have been so wrong on so many levels. The mental image is bad enough, without the inevitable tabloid stills.

30 December 2007

Pole Tax

No, not the poll tax or even a tax on poles [or even Poles] - but rather a tax on pole dancers.

Customers at strip clubs in Texas are facing a controversial $5-a-head "pole tax" which is intended to pay for sex crime prevention programmes and rape crisis centres.
The surcharge, backed by women's rights campaigners, comes into effect on Tuesday and is expected to raise an estimated $40 million (£20 million) each year from those paying for lapdancers and pole dancers. (The Telegraph)

This tax is opposed by strip clubs and the pole dancers themselves, who fear that it will mean that fewer men will visit them, and also "resent the implied link between their industry and sex crimes" which is fair enough, since it is more than likely that the ability to watch girls gyrate will prevent rather than cause rape.

Their legal defence, that the tax "violates their constitutional rights to freedom of expression", is less than convincing in itself, however, since it isn't preventing them from doing it, just taxing those who watch them. This tax is ridiculous, but not because it infringes on the First Amendment of the US Constitution.

Source: The Telegraph

21 December 2007

There's No Ending The Oldest Profession

Selling and buying sex has never been illegal in the UK. Yet Harriet Harman seems to think that that's simply not good enough, and that the precedents set by centuries of history - covering even the most prudest eras - isn't good enough for her. What she is attacking she says "just because something has always gone on, it doesn't mean you just wring your hands and say there's nothing we can do about it" she is ignoring the very foundation of British society, law and democracy - precedent and organic development, taking into account the past. Of course this doesn't mean that what has gone before is always right, but it certainly means that there needs to eb damn good reason before you even consider changing it.

Let's look at this from a rights perspective. I own my body, right? We all agree on that point. So I can do whatever the hell I like with it. After all, that is what manual labourers - the people Harman's party claims to represent - do when they sell their labour. And what we all do when we work - we sell our labour in whatever form. Thus, we can do what we want with out own bodies.

Then we have the fact that the money I earn, after I have paid my taxes to the State, are mine to dispose of as I wish. This money I can spend on anything I wish, as it is my money, that I have earned, and on which no-one else has any claim. Right?

So, why should I not be allowed to buy or sell sex if I so wish - wish my own body or my own money? It is right that some activities associated with prostitution - such as pimping and brothel-keeping - are illegal. But the simple activity of selling and buying sex certainly should not be. It is referred to as the "oldest profession" for a reason, and it will long outlive Harman and her ilk. After all, sex is a one of the basic needs of mankind - and not everyone can or wants to get it without paying.

Sources: BBC, The Telegraph, The Times, The Guardian

30 November 2007

Well, it's a unique way to raise money for charity...

A Chilean prostitute has become an instant celebrity in the Roman Catholic country after auctioning 27 hours of sex to raise money for a disabled children's charity.
Maria Carolina has made headlines and appeared on talk shows since she announced her donation to the televised Teleton, Chile's largest fundraising event that will run for 27 hours this weekend...
Miss Carolina, who charges $300 for a 90-minute session, estimated that she would raise more than $4000. (The Telegraph)

It's not exactly Children In Need is it?

28 November 2007

This passage has won the Bad Sex in Fiction Award, which is given to "draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it."

His mouth lathered with her sap, he turned around and embraced her face with all the passion of his own lips and face, ready at last to grind into her with the Hound, drive it into her piety.
- Norman Mailer, The Castle in the Forest

I'm not surprised in the least. That really was bad. And there are many many more passages like that out there. We can but hope this award will indeed discourage it...

01 November 2007

"Please don't join the Mile High club":

Singapore Airlines has taken the unusual step of publicly asking passengers on its new Airbus A380 plane not to engage in any sexual activities.
The potential problem has arisen because the first class area of its giant superjumbo contains 12 private suites complete with double beds.
Singapore, which is the first airline to start flying the A380, said the suites were not sound-proofed. (BBC)

If you provide privacy and double beds, what do you expect?!

16 October 2007

Shooting blanks? Try every day:

Some men should have sex every day to maximise the chances of getting their partner pregnant, researchers say.
It is known for couples with fertility problems to abstain from sex for several days to boost sperm numbers before trying to conceive...
[But] [o]ne UK expert said daily sex might be better for men with damaged sperm. (BBC)

Seems like a good enough excuse!

10 October 2007

Obsessed With Jacqui's Tits?

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith's, that is. She is complaining about journalists being "obsessed" with her cleavage and has told them "to get over themselves". She says:

Honestly, the morning when I made the statement to the House about the terror incidents that I had faced on my first weekend... funnily enough the main thing on my mind when I got up was not: 'Is my top too low cut or not?'
I'm going to carry on concentrating on protecting the country's borders, securing us from counter terror and bringing down crime.
And I will try and think a bit about my clothes alongside that, but it is not my top priority and nor should it be for those journalists who have been obsessed with it. (BBC)

I think it is you who needs to get over yourself, Jacqui. Why would anyone be obsessed by your cleavage? You're not exactly the most attractive woman in the world ["face like a horses arse" is one way of describing it...], and your breasts are hardly huge. And neither are you exactly the first woman to be in high ministerial office in Britain - and they managed to get by without claiming that journalists were obsessed with their tits.

So why would anyone be especially interested in your cleavage? The sort of cleavage in that I will be posting tomorrow or regularly at display over at Theo Spark's, yes, but yours? Not a chance.

Source: BBC

04 October 2007

Carry On Nursing

I can't see what that problem is here:

A calendar showing Conservative MPs from Sussex posing with models dressed as saucy nurses has offended the people it was meant to be supporting.
MPs Peter Bottomley and Tim Laughton appear in the calendar to support a campaign to stop the downgrading of Worthing and Southlands hospitals.
But it offended nurses at Worthing Hospital who complained to Unison which has now called for it to be scrapped...
[Unison says] "It is a dinosaur stereotype of nurses as sexual objects which is deplorable and inappropriate and unacceptable." (BBC)

Oh come on! Get off your ridiculous high horse. It is a joke to raise money to save a hospital. There are far, far, more distasteful things that happen every day without any intent to do good. It is because Labour have failed to manage the money they have pumped into the NHS properly that such are campaigns are necessary.

What if it was two Labour MPs. Would Unison be complaining then? Bollocks would they be. They'd be lauding them for doing a public good.

Even if the particular calendar may be ill-advised, it is an attempt to a lot of good and to, in the end, save lives. Sex sells, and it's as simple as that.

Source: BBC

24 August 2007

Old people still have sex! I'm shocked. I thought they stopped as soon as they got their free bus pass? But apparently not:

Old age is not preventing people from enjoying active sex lives, researchers in the US have discovered.
A survey of 3,005 Americans aged 57 to 85 revealed that people often remain sexually active into their eighties.
Health problems or lack of a partner, rather than lack of desire, were the most common barriers to having sex...
About half of the men and a quarter of the women said they masturbated, regardless of whether they had a sexual partner. (BBC)

I think they'll find that that the lack of a partner is the most common barrier to having sex, whatever age they are.

07 August 2007

Illegally Spanking The Monkey

Despite the rather amusing nature of this story, it hides a deeper and extremely unpleasant Orwellianism.

"A Florida inmate convicted this week of masturbating while alone in his jail cell is reportedly only one of eight targets—along with state taxpayers—of what a Miami Herald columnist describes as "a spectacular case of selective prosecution."
Given the likely prevalence of such commonplace behavior in state prisons (not to mention boarding schools, seminaries and military barracks), criminally charging any Broward County inmate with masturbation represents a major waste of prosecution dollars." (ABA Journal)

Yes, it is a waste of money to prosecute for it. But the issue goes deeper. First of all, the female deputy who complained was watching him on a monitor - he was alone in his cell - and has done the same for seven others. It sounds almost like she was channel-surfing for Onanists - and must pay quite a deal of attention to them wanking, since in court she "managed to describe [the] offence in startling detail, eight times, once with... approximating the action with arm motions."This deputy definitely seems to be on some sort of crusade against bishop-bashing, money-spanking, etc.

That it is - or could be - illegal to masturbate whilst alone is quite disgusting. Had the deputy been visible to the prisoner, then that would be a different story, but since he was alone in his cell, then why should he be prevented from pleasuring himself? It is natural, after all.

This story does give me a great opportunity to post this hilarious video though...
[Warning: Mature content]

via Iain Dale, Tim Worstall, and Caroline Hunt

03 August 2007

Just telling hormonal-ridden teenagers not to have sex doesn't work:

"Sex abstinence programmes do not stop risky sexual behaviour or help in the prevention of unwanted pregnancy, a research team has concluded...
They found abstinence programmes had no negative or positive impact on the rates of sex infections or unprotected sex."(BBC)

Really? Who'd've thunk it!

Are the people who push these kinds of abstinence programmes stupid or something? Telling teenagers not to do something doesn't exactly have a good track record of preventing them from doing it does it, for fuck's sake!